This is the time of year when we start to think about our resolutions for the months ahead. This year I am not making any resolutions at all. Read on to find out why.
So don’t get me wrong! I’m not against New Year’s resolutions and of course, they can be a good way to kick start new, healthier habits and to drop those that are no longer meeting our needs. A plethora of organised resolutions come to mind – Dry January, Veganuary and many more. There is a lot of evidence that it takes 30 days to change a habit and these months of resolution help us to do just that.
And believe me, I’ve tried them all. If there’s an ‘-anuary’, I’ve been there! The trouble I have with it all, is that I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so if I miss a day, have that sneaky glass of wine or piece of cheese, I feel like I’ve blown it, and I’m inclined to give it all up. I’ve already failed the self imposed test. And worse? I then berate myself for my ‘weakness’, lack of discipline and start to circle the narrative that I’ll never [insert ambition of own choice].
But the underlying issue for me is that I tend to take these -anuary’s on as a end in themselves, a challenge to be achieved. So even when I have stuck with one (like the year Dry January became 6 months), I revert to old habits because actually, I was never really committed to the change, just the process.
So this year I am setting myself a gentle intention which is: To nurture, nourish and manage my energy.
Because in our modern world, there are so many things that subtract from our energy. Work commitments, family, friends, social media, health issues, the pressure that we place on ourselves to keep up. For me, with a porous Pisces moon in my birth chart it’s a tendency to take on other people’s emotions and to resort to meeting their needs, often at the expense of my own.
My gentle intention means that instead of outright denial, or a pledge to exercise everyday, or drink more water, I am simply asking myself the question whether the choice I am making right now nourishes and supports my energy, or depletes it. So yes, sometimes that glass of wine and a laugh with friends will do more for my mental and emotional health than nursing a glass of sparkling water. Or eating a large slice of that cake that someone baked especially for me.
I’ve found myself naturally taking healthier choices when I consider my energetic needs, walking instead of driving for example, opting for herbal tea, eating a little less chocolate and a little more fruit. And if I make a choice that doesn’t work out for the best? I can put that down to experience and try again because there is no resolution to fail, no challenge to beat, no goal that means I can stop when I get there.
So if you find me saying “no” a little more often than I used, don’t be offended. I’m managing my energy so that when I say “yes” I really mean it!